Parents generally tend to cavil about the deportment of their kids, their noncooperation, and not adhering to their instructions.
But what we need to remind ourselves is that Kids hate nagging as much as we do.
However, some tools can replace nagging and get your child to listen to you.
TOOL 1
REFRAME YOUR SENTENCES
UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES
We generally say –
Your room is in such a mess, when will you pick up all these toys lying around?
INSTEAD, SAY
What’s your game plan for all these toys that are lying on your bedroom floor?
UNDER NORMAL CIRCUMSTANCES
We generally say –
Why are you not getting ready? You will be late for the Tennis class.
TRYING SAYING THIS
What’s your plan for getting ready to leave for the Tennis class?
By saying so, we bestow the children with the opportunity to learn planning, and the competence to decide. Most importantly we send across the implication that we have credence in their ability to get things done.
TOOL 2
Instead of nagging the child, describe what you see.
YOU MAY BE TEMPTED TO SAY
There is such a mess in your room. JUST clear it.
BUT INSTEAD, SAY
I see so many toys on the floor of your room. Please clear them before someone steps on them.
STOP YOURSELF FROM SAYING
I told you so many times to put on your shoes, we need to leave in 5 mins.
TRY SAYING
I see a little boy with no shoes on and we need to leave in 5 mins.
TOOL 3
USE FEWER WORDS/ USE SHORT SENTENCES
Another tool to replace nagging is using fewer words.
This is especially important and useful in situations where we have already said the same thing over and over again or the kids have already heard our lecture many times and the command has not been followed.
We always start with the Sentence –How many times I have told you to turn off the light after using the bathroom?
Just try to say this
THE BATHROOM
If you are tempted to say You have left your shoes in the hallway –How many times have I told you that the shoes stay on the shoe rack.
STOP YOURSELF AND INSTEAD JUST SAY
THE SHOES
Nagging predominantly happens when there is a lack of communication. Once there is clear-cut communication from both sides, it limits the amount of incertitude and diminishes the need to nag.
Dear readers
If you have anything to discuss about your kids, their behaviors, tantrums, please do write to me, I will try to help, as I am a parent coach.